Failure is an Option

Well, I’m back where I started. After my last post I quickly spiraled back into my old eating and non-exercising patterns. I also stopped posting here.

I’m not sure what happened. I often struggle with this issue, looking for the causes of things, trying to figure out why I behave the way I do or why I don’t follow through with my commitments. I keep thinking that if I analyze things enough I will come up with some epiphone about how I can avoid screwing up in the future. I almost never do and continue making the same mistakes over and over.

I think the common thread in all of these things is that I forget what is important. So I thought I might end this post by listing out some things that are important to me that I keep forgetting.

  • Buddhism – I found Buddhism in mid-2015. I enjoy the people I have met and the teachings resonate with me.
  • Health – I enjoy being able to walk or run long distances without killing myself.
  • Relationships – I enjoy spending time with my wife and doing fun things with her.
  • Friends – I like hanging out with a select group of friends and having good conversations.
  • Public service – I regularly give blood platelets and volunteer for work at the Buddhist center. This brings me joy as well.

I think in the future I will start reporting on these values and others that I may not have mentioned here. It will be a good way to check in and remind myself that these things are important.


13 pounds

When I started losing weight again, I weighed 290 lbs (although I think my official starting point was 288 lbs when this blog began). Now I weigh 277 lbs as of this morning and have for the past week. I’ve also been struggling with my eating the past couple of days.

In my most recent attempts at losing weight, dating back 4 years, I have really started to struggle with losing more weight after losing 13 pounds. I don’t know if it’s the weight or the timing. Usually by this time I’m several weeks in and I start struggling to control my eating. It slowly gets out of hand and I fall back into my old patterns of eating way too much of a bunch of junk.

I’m a that point now, teetering, struggling with the urge to eat more, to comfort myself somehow with a shovel-full of food. Which way will it go this time?

Made It

I made it to my goal weight of 280 lbs by March 1st. I weighed in at 279.4 lbs that morning. It feels good to have met that goal and people are already noticing and even I can tell the difference. My shirts aren’t quite so tight and I have that little extra step of energy and that little less bit of pain when I move around.

Next goal is 270 by April 1!

The Name of This Site is Apt

Here’s a link to a talk about what happens to your fat when you lose weight.

The Mathematics of Weight Loss

The subject of this talk is a very important thing to learn and makes me glad that I picked the name of this website to be what it is. This talk tells us that fat is converted to carbon dioxide and water (84% and 16% respectively). This means that when you are trying to lose weight, the most efficient way to do so is to breathe more. It’s a bit more complicated than that, but the things that cause you to breathe more – running, sports, vigorous activities – are the very things that are getting the weight out of your body.

Please take a moment to watch this video. It’s very instructive and illustrates all of this better than I can here in a short post.

Eating is Not a Primary Concern

Okay, so it is time to let living in the first world work to my advantage. There is no reason for eating to be my primary concern. I think all day about what my next meal is going to be. The first thing I think of when I’m going to be home alone is what can I stuff in my mouth while the wife’s not looking? It’s kinda ridiculous (especially since she usually doesn’t care what I eat).

So as I walked tonight (3 and a quarter miles in 57ish minutes), I got to thinking about this. I have no reason to think about eating so much. If there was doubt about from where my next meal might come, it might be an issue at that point. But for me, in my current situation, I should just never think about eating beyond picking something out, acquiring it, and actually sitting down to eating it. Picking something could take less than 5 minutes, getting it might be as easy as heading to the pantry, and while I’m eating it, I should be thinking about eating what I’m eating and not what is coming next. If I chose my foods correctly, I shouldn’t even have guilt to think about during my meal.

Life is what happens between the meals, the meals are just there to give me the energy to live.

Weight Loss Goals

I will keep this simple, for your sake and mine. My weight loss goals are very straight forward.

Goal 1: Get to 280 lbs by March 1, 2016. This is a fairly aggressive goal considering it was set on February 18, 2016 and my start weight was 288. I think I can do it though.

Goal 2: Lose 10 lbs per month through the end of the year. This puts me at 180 lbs on January 1, 2017.

That’s it. 10 pounds a month is a lot, but very doable at my weight. At the beginning of each month I will re-evaluate my goals and see if I need to make any changes.

Final Goal: Don’t get discouraged and quit if I miss a goal or two. I can do this.

Second Post

Today I tried to watch what I was eating and was mostly successful. I fixed a steak for myself last night and I wanted to finish it tonight because I had leftovers and didn’t want a good steak to go to waste.

So I ate sparingly today, went for a 3 mile walk (50 minutes), and then came home and finished off the steak. Tomorrow the plan is to eat only breakfast and lunch and do another 3 or more mile walk.